she's almost 11 months old. next month she will be 1. my mommy heart is broken by the fact that i will never get to hold 2 month old baby j again, or stare at 6 month old baby j's sweet eyes. she is so advanced, almost walking, lots of talking: no no (she says this to the dogs) mama, dada, nana (banana), baba (bottle) and wawa (water bottle). she is so ornery and energetic, that's what i love about her most because it's so different from stefen and i. we are low energy (me more than stefen) and i like soft quiet things in life, so a chirping and screaming baby beating a toy to death with a remote control while the victimized toy still sings his sad song is just the most beautiful confusion in my mind. i pray that God allows us to adopt her soon, and i pray that for the remainder of our lives as a family that stefen will be in charge of running all of the energy out of her. we can call it a "daddy daughter date" but really they will just be doing laps in our cul-de-sac.
i plea to my readers to pray for us. pray for the caseworkers on our case. pray for all the kids involved in foster care. but please, pray for our judge and district attorney - they are the ultimate decision makers. we need to get through to them that if they took baby j from us now, she would grieve, continue to look for us and long to hear our voices. until she doesn't find us, and then it breaks her heart.
