hi all! i haven't blogged in for-eva. we have been doing great here, trucking along trying to get closer to adopting baby J. a lot of people have asked if we will be changing her name pending an adoption. i thought this would make a great blog post, because we have gotten mixed reactions when we tell people our answer.
yes, we would change her name. when baby J's attorney and caseworker came to us to ask if we would consider adopting her, she was 7 months old. at that time, we started to think about changing her name. keeping her given first name and middle name would be a fine decision, but it's not for us. to us, it's just a name anyway (her old name and her new name). it holds no bearing on her worth, who she is as a tiny wonderful person, or anything. some people are shocked that we would change her name because they are worried it would be hard for THEM to learn to call her something different. we typically don't make decisions based on what's convenient for other people. people often wonder if they should start calling her by her name we would give her, and while that's a good question, it's hard for people to understand when i say "it really doesn't matter".
you see, people these days spend a lot of time picking out their children's name. they take a lot of pride in it. too much, probably. whether they take pride in it being a family name, a trendy name, a traditional name, a trendy name that's not too trendy, and the stipulations go on and on and on. so when we have a lackadaisical attitude about baby J's name, they get flustered and confused. i went through a phase where it really bothered me. i just couldn't understand why people were more concerned with her name than with where her development was, where her heart was, how she was growing, etc. since then i've become more patient with people, as is with most topics we have experienced as foster parents.
we typically tell people to call her by either name, or by her nickname "sis". it's truly whatever people are comfortable with. but when the adoption is finalized, the J name will be written on a piece of paper and put in her memory box, because at that point it will be just a memory, and we can all start calling her "E", without fear of being disrespectful to her birth parents or confusing to her siblings or friends.
eden emersen french will be all mine, and i am most excited to share a last name with her. that's the name that really matters.
thanks for reading,
chelsie
